The funeral director asked if I wanted a Scripture reading. I nodded, numb. My grandmother had died two days earlier, and I was making arrangements I’d never imagined making. He pulled out a binder of common funeral verses and pointed to John 11:25: “I am the resurrection and the life.” I’d heard that verse at … Read more
I’d been avoiding God for three months when I finally broke. Not because I wanted to. Because I ran out of ways to numb the guilt. The thing I’d done sat in my chest like a stone, growing heavier every day I pretended it wasn’t there. One Tuesday morning, sitting in my car before work, … Read more
I stood in the grocery store staring at cereal boxes for more than six minutes. Not because I couldn’t decide which one to buy. Because anxiety had paralyzed my brain so completely, I couldn’t remember why I was in that aisle. My hands shook. My vision tunneled. A woman asked if I was okay, and … Read more
I checked my bank account three times before buying groceries. The balance hadn’t changed. But my anxiety insisted I verify one more time. Milk, eggs, bread. Each item felt like a financial risk despite having enough money to cover them. That’s financial anxiety. It’s not rational. It doesn’t respond to spreadsheets showing you’re fine. It’s … Read more
I prayed for my mother’s healing for three years before she died. Every single day. Sometimes multiple times daily. Desperate, faith-filled, Scripture-saturated prayers. I quoted promises. I claimed healing. I believed God would answer. He didn’t. Not the way I asked. The day after her funeral, someone quoted Luke 18:1 at me: “Always pray and … Read more
I used to think the faith of a mustard seed was about having small faith. Tiny faith. Barely-there faith. The kind of faith that’s better than nothing, but obviously not impressive or powerful. I figured Jesus was basically saying, “Look, even if your faith is pathetic and microscopic like this tiny seed, at least it’s … Read more
“Taste and see that the Lord is good.” I must have read that verse a hundred times before it actually hit me. It was always just pretty religious language, the kind of poetic phrase you find in Psalms that sounds nice but doesn’t really mean anything concrete. Then I went through the darkest season of … Read more