My pastor recently told me about Jennifer, a woman in his previous congregation.
She was known for always saying the right things.
When someone shared a prayer request, Jennifer would immediately respond, “Oh, I’ll be praying for you!” When someone mentioned a struggle, Jennifer would say, “If there’s anything I can do, just let me know!” Her words were warm, comforting, and always perfectly timed.
Then Maria joined the church.
Maria was a single mother who’d just escaped an abusive relationship.
She had nothing: no furniture, no job, no support system.
The church rallied with donations and encouragement.
Jennifer, as usual, said all the right things: “My heart breaks for you. You’re in my prayers constantly. Let me know how I can help.”
But it was Rebecca, the quiet woman who rarely spoke in church, who showed up at Maria’s apartment every Saturday for six months.
Rebecca didn’t make speeches.
She brought groceries, helped fill out job applications, babysat while Maria interviewed, and simply sat with her on the hardest nights.
Rebecca’s calendar, my pastor noticed, had every Saturday morning blocked out with two words: “Maria’s apartment.”
Two years later at a church potluck, my pastor overheard Maria telling someone, “Jennifer’s words were nice, but Rebecca’s actions saved my life.
She loved me when I needed it most.”
This is the heart of 1 John 3:18: “Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and in truth.”
The Greek Foundation: Understanding the Contrast
Logos and Glossa: The Inadequacy of Mere Words
The Greek text reads: “Τεκνία, μὴ ἀγαπῶμεν λόγῳ μηδὲ τῇ γλώσσῃ, ἀλλ᾽ ἐν ἔργῳ καὶ ἀληθείᾳ.”
John uses two Greek words for verbal expression:
Logos (λόγῳ) means “word” or “speech.” It refers to rational content, message, or teaching. Logos is often paired as the opposite of ergon (deed) in Greek literature. The contrast is between saying something and doing something.
Glossa (γλώσσῃ) literally means “tongue,” the physical organ of speech. It emphasizes the act of speaking itself, the mere movement of the mouth to produce sounds.
Together, logos and glossa represent the totality of verbal expression: both the content of what we say and the physical act of saying it.
John isn’t condemning communication.
He’s condemning communication that stands alone, disconnected from corresponding action.
Ergon and Aletheia: The Necessity of Active Truth
John contrasts empty words with two positive requirements:
Ergon (ἔργῳ) means “work,” “deed,” or “action.” The root gives us the English word “ergonomics,” the study of workplace efficiency. Ergon carries the connotation of labor, effort, and tangible accomplishment. Love expressed through ergon is love that works, that labors, that produces visible results.
This isn’t a once-a-year charity event or a convenient gesture when it costs nothing. Just as the Son of God left heaven, took on flesh, and labored among us, we’re called to labor in love even when it’s difficult.
Aletheia (ἀληθείᾳ) means “truth,” specifically truth that has been revealed or made manifest. In John’s writings, aletheia is closely connected with genuine knowledge of God (John 14:6). It speaks to authenticity, sincerity, and alignment between profession and reality.
To love “in truth” means to love genuinely, without hypocrisy or pretense. Your actions must match your words. Your deeds must align with your professions. As one commentator notes, “Truth is the correspondence between a reality and a declaration which professes to describe the reality.”
The Present Tense Command
The verb agapomen (ἀγαπῶμεν) is present tense, meaning “let us be loving” as a continuous, habitual practice. This isn’t about isolated acts of kindness. John commands ongoing, consistent love demonstrated through labor and truth. It should become our reflex, our default response, our way of life.
The Context: What Prompted This Command
Understanding 1 John 3:18 requires seeing it in the flow of John’s argument:
1 John 3:16 establishes the standard: “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.”
Christ’s sacrificial death defines true love. Not sentimental feelings. Not convenient gestures. But total self-giving, even unto death.
1 John 3:17 provides the practical application: “If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person?”
John argues from the greater to the lesser. If we should be willing to die for others (the greater), then surely we should be willing to share our material resources with those in need (the lesser). The Greek phrase describes someone who “shuts up his bowels of compassion,” closing off natural sympathy and choosing indifference.
1 John 3:18 drives the point home: Don’t just talk about love. Act on it. Do it. Make it real.
What Most Christians Don’t Know About This Verse
1. John Includes Himself in the Command
Notice John says “let us not love” not “you should not love.” By using first-person plural, John humbly includes himself. He models healthy Christian leadership, positioning himself alongside his readers, not above them.
2. The Verse Addresses “Little Children”
John calls his readers teknia (τεκνία), “little children.” This isn’t condescending but tender. It means “little born ones.” John views believers as God’s children needing instruction to grow. This verse is remedial education in love for believers who may have mastered the vocabulary without practicing the reality.
3. The “Not/But” Structure is Decisive
John doesn’t say “Love with both words and deeds.” He says “Not with word or tongue, but in deed and truth.” The Greek construction creates a sharp contrast. Words without deeds are worthless. Speech without action is empty.
4. This Tests Whether God’s Love “Dwells” in Us
The rhetorical question in verse 17 uses meno (μένω), “abide” or “dwell,” the same word Jesus used in John 15:4. God’s love isn’t meant to visit occasionally but to take permanent residence. Love that dwells produces actions. If there’s no fruit of practical love, perhaps God’s love hasn’t truly taken root.
How to Love in Deed and Truth
1. Start with What You See
John says, “If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need…” (v.17). Love in action begins with paying attention. You can’t help what you don’t notice.
Rebecca saw Maria’s need because she paid attention. Many others were busy or distracted. Rebecca looked, truly looked, and saw a woman drowning. Practical love starts with eyes open to the needs around us.
2. Give from What You Have
John doesn’t command you to give what you don’t have. He addresses those who have “material possessions” and see someone lacking. The Greek refers to “the world’s goods,” the resources for living comfortably.
You don’t need to be wealthy to love practically. Luke 3:11 says, “Anyone who has two shirts should share with the one who has none.” If you have two, someone else has zero. That’s your opportunity.
3. Labor, Don’t Just Wish
Ergon means work. James 2:15-16 illustrates this perfectly: “Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,’ but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it?”
Wishing someone well while doing nothing is useless. Love labors. It gets inconvenienced. It rearranges schedules. It costs time, energy, and resources.
4. Match Your Actions to Your Words
Love “in truth” means integrity. If you say “I love you,” your actions should prove it. If you claim to follow Jesus, who laid down His life, your life should reflect sacrificial love.
Bob Utley warns, “The deed and motives must both be motivated by self-giving love (God’s love) and not just be showy deeds that feed the ego of the provider or giver.” Don’t love for applause. Love because Christ first loved you.
5. Make It Habitual
The present tense commands ongoing practice. Cultivate love as your default response. When you see need, your reflex should be, “What can I do?” not “Someone should help them.”
Rebecca’s blocked-out Saturdays showed habitual love. It wasn’t random. It was consistent, sacrificial, labor-intensive love maintained over months.
Frequently Asked Questions
Does this verse mean words of encouragement are worthless?
No. John isn’t condemning verbal love expressions. He’s condemning verbal expressions without corresponding actions. Words are valuable when they accompany deeds and match reality.
Encouragement is a spiritual gift (Romans 12:8). The issue isn’t whether we speak love words but whether we stop at words when actions are needed and possible. If someone is drowning, telling them “Swim harder!” is cruel without throwing a lifeline. But once you’ve rescued them, encouraging words become meaningful.
How do I balance loving others with caring for my own family?
Scripture prioritizes family responsibilities. 1 Timothy 5:8 says anyone who doesn’t provide for their household “has denied the faith.” John addresses those who have resources beyond their own needs. If meeting someone else’s need would create genuine hardship for your family, that’s not what John commands.
However, be honest about the difference between genuine hardship and mere inconvenience. True love may require giving from resources you’d prefer to keep, but never at your family’s expense.
What if I’m too busy to help everyone in need?
You can’t help everyone. Jesus didn’t heal every sick person in Israel. John says “if anyone…sees a brother or sister in need.” Not global poverty statistics but specific people God puts in your path.
Pray, “Lord, make me aware of the specific people You’re calling me to help.” Loving in deed doesn’t mean saying yes to everything. It means being responsive to the opportunities God brings across your path.
Can I love in deed without having resources to give financially?
Absolutely. “Material possessions” in verse 17 is one example of loving in deed, not the only way. Ergon (work/deed) encompasses any tangible action that meets genuine need.
You can love in deed by:
- Giving time when others have none
- Offering skills (fixing things, providing transportation, teaching)
- Being present in suffering (hospital visits, grief support)
- Practical service (cooking meals, childcare, yard work)
- Using your position or connections to help others
Rebecca’s love for Maria wasn’t primarily financial. It was relational presence, consistent time investment, and practical assistance with job applications and childcare. Sometimes the greatest need isn’t money but someone who shows up.
How do I know if my love is genuine or just obligation?
This is the “in truth” (aletheia) component. Genuine love flows from God’s love dwelling in you (v.17). If you’re helping others resentfully, checking boxes to feel righteous, or seeking recognition, you’re missing the point.
2 Corinthians 9:7 says, “God loves a cheerful giver.” Examine your heart. Are you loving because:
- You’re grateful for how Christ loved you?
- You genuinely care about the person’s wellbeing?
- You want to reflect God’s character?
Or are you loving because:
- You’ll feel guilty if you don’t?
- Others will judge you?
- You want credit or recognition?
Genuine love doesn’t always feel joyful in the moment. Rebecca probably didn’t feel excited every Saturday morning. But her consistent presence revealed love rooted in commitment, not convenience.
Prayer for Love in Action
Heavenly Father,
Forgive me for the times I’ve loved with my mouth but not with my life. I’ve said the right words, made the right sounds, offered the right platitudes, but walked away when action was required.
I confess that words are easier than work. Speaking costs me nothing. Doing costs me time, energy, resources, and comfort.
Thank You for showing me what true love looks like. Jesus didn’t just tell me He loved me. He left heaven, took on flesh, labored among us, and laid down His life. His love was ergon and aletheia, work and truth, action and authenticity.
Open my eyes to see the needs around me. Don’t let me be so busy, distracted, or self-focused that I miss the Marias You place in my path.
Give me the courage to love beyond my comfort zone. Help me block out Saturdays, rearrange my calendar, share from my resources, and labor in love even when it’s inconvenient.
Let Your love dwell in me so deeply that practical, sacrificial, tangible love becomes my natural response. Make love my reflex, not just my rhetoric.
Guard me from hypocrisy. When I speak words of love, let my actions prove them true. When I profess to follow Christ, let my life demonstrate His character.
Transform me from a Jennifer into a Rebecca, from someone who says the right things to someone who does the right things, from someone who talks about love to someone who labors in love.
I don’t want to just know about Your love. I want to show Your love. Let my life be marked not by eloquent words but by costly deeds, not by impressive speeches but by genuine truth.
In Jesus’ name, who is the Word made flesh, the ultimate example of love in action, Amen.
Trusted Resources on 1 John 3:18
Precept Austin. (n.d.). 1 John 3:18 commentary. [Comprehensive Greek word study of logos, glossa, ergon, and aletheia]
BibleRef.com. (n.d.). What does 1 John 3:18 mean? [Contextual analysis within 1 John’s structure]
Bethel Lutheran Church. (2016). Love with ergon and aletheia – 1 John 3:16-18. [Theological reflection on Greek terminology]
Christian Publishing House. (2023). How does 1 John 3:18 teach us to express genuine love? [Practical implications and application study]
Grace Evangelical Society. (n.d.). How to apply “lay down your life” (1 John 3:16-17). [Analysis of the greater-to-lesser argument]
GotQuestions.org. (2024). What are the “material possessions” referred to in 1 John 3:17? [Contextual study of practical application]
Matt Dabbs. (2022). What does it mean to lay down your life for your brother? [Pastoral perspective on practical application]
Bible Study Tools. (2022). What does 1 John 3:16 teach us about Christ’s sacrificial love? [Christological foundation for practical love]
Bible Hub. (n.d.). 1 John 3:18 lexicon. [Greek lexical analysis and interlinear study]
